Still Awake At 3am = Post No Different From All My Other Posts

I got a new laptop for Christmas from my Mommy. Not because my last one needed to lean against the wall just to stay open because I picked it up by the screen one too many times in the past 10 years of our relationship. Not because it needed to be turned on at 3am if I wanted to check my email on my lunch break. And not because she loves me.

I got a new laptop for Christmas from my Mommy...so I could apply for unemployment. And I have want too will. I'm just trying to figure out why they would allow me to collect unemployment insurance if I'm still collecting salary from W&R and working extra part-time at LW.

State government. That's how. I love Kansas.

No I don't.

I wanna move to Kentucky. Or Tennessee. Or Japan.

Except not Japan. I don't speak Chinese.

UPDATED: I'm Sorry KJ

*Disclaimer: The following is full and complete Mandy sarcasm. Kevin knows I love him.

KJ was the first person to make a comment about my 13 day blog absence. This tells me one thing: He's the only one who cares. He very rudely meanly nicely stated: "New blog plz. I need to know what's going on in your life without asking you directly."

And so, my dear friend, this post is for you:

Dear KJ,

I am so sorry I've been gone. Even though I know all to well that you need my words of wisdom and hilarity for your simple, meaningless life to mean something, I chose to remove myself from your reading pleasure. I'm sorry. Perhaps some explanation and begging of your forgiveness will suffice? Please note: These are not excuses. I simply feel that you deserve an explanation for my absence.

First of all, I am so sorry that today is my last day at Waddell & Reed. Between packing up my desk, training my replacement and saying teary goodbyes to the best bosses and coworkers I've ever had, I should've taken into account your starvation for my wit. What was I thinking? Can you ever forgive me? I'm so sorry.

Next, I must also apologize for the season. How dare I place Christmas shopping for my family and another family above your need for my words? That was just so rude of me. Next year, they will all get e-cards so that I don't have to leave my keyboard for even one second. Because you are that important to me. I'm sorry I didn't show that this year. Candy cane?

And finally, my biggest apology: I'm so so SO incredibly sorry, KJ, that my grandmother passed away only a few hours after I wrote that last post. I'm sorry that she was my favorite and I hers. I'm sorry that we had to wait until my uncle got back from China a full week later before we could have the funeral. I'm sorry I drove 11 hours through the night after working a full day so I could be in Lubbock for the funeral only to turn around and come right back less than 24 hours later because I could not take any more time off from my two jobs. It was rude of me to not find a short balance between the emotional and physical exhaustion and stress to sit down and write something that would make you and my other readers laugh hysterically. And it was even more rude of me to not feel like laughing. Perhaps I'm sick. Either way, I'm sorry.

Again, I do not offer these explanations in an attempt to gain your sympathy. I do not deserve that. I simply hope these explanations of my absence help to extract your forgiveness my friend. My hope, prayer and Christmas wish is that, one day, you'll find it in your heart to forgive me for the depression you must have faced over these last two weeks. I'm so sorry.

Sincerely,

Mandy

But How Did He Know?!

My bosses boss just came over to my desk and said to my boss: "Amanda was prairie doggin it." Apparently, he saw me pop my head up over my cubicle to see if anyone was coming and decided to tell my boss about it. Unfortunately, his choice of words means something totally different to those of us who've seen Rat Race.

Ok, Fine. I Agree With You, KJ. I'd Be Hot If I Was Someone Else

Apparently, my readers are not ammused by my low-self esteem posts. What's up with that? Friends, this is an attempt to make you all feel better about yourself. My hope is that, if you look in the mirror someday and don't like what you see, perhaps you'll say to yourself, "Well, at least I don't have to go on a face diet." And you don't. You're beautiful.

I, on the other hand, am a whopping 25 points below the average person on the official Asian hotness scale. In America, that means I'm practically a fungus. Amungus. Haha! Ok, I'm done.

But, fear not, loyal reader(s)! There is hope for this unfortunate looking woman child yet. One of my most favoritest friends has made yet another attempt to show me that I have nothing to be concerned about.

KJ has the uncanny ability to see me in the most oddest of places. Namely, on other peoples faces.* Over the years, I've been told by this friend that I look somewhat like the following:

Mary Shannon

What's that? You don't know who Mary Shannon is?! Yeah, me neither.

Apparently she is on the USA show In Plain Sight. She plays the ahem freakin hot witness protection agent assigned to keep all these important people from gettin dead. And she does. So I hear.

Anyway, KJ told me once that this chick reminds him of me. Why? Well, apart from the fact that I never wear brown and it would take one heck of a bra to give me that kind of figure, apparently its a tie between her hair and her amazing ability to make men do anything she says just by pointing a gun at them. Have you ever seen me hold a gun? It's intimidating awesome so cool scary. And I guess that does it for some guys.

Unfortunately, this dream will never come true for KJ because I don't like guns. Unless you're a creeper planning on breaking into my room late at night in which case, I have 7 under my pillow.

Anna Torv

If you're saying to yourself, "Mary Shannon, ha! More like Molly Shannon!" you're right. And it's all downhill from here.

KJ just recently told me that this gorgeous young lady also reminds him of me. Again, citing the hair. (Though I'm pretty sure the last time I saw him my hair was about 6 inches shorter and 3 shades darker.) That's why I like KJ. He remembers the good 'ole days.

Anyway, Anna Torv plays the role of Special Agent Olivia Dunham in the new Fox TV show Fringe. She apparently has Marine Corps, FBI experience and is a little bitter thanks to some unknown betrayal. See a pattern here? KJ has a thing for blondes with guns and a bad attitude. But KJ, I only have 1.5 out of 3.

Needed: One freakin hot chick with a gun and vendetta, who secretly just needs to be held by a loving, funny, really cool dude. Redheads need not apply.

Princess Peach

And here's the doozie. But, believe it or not, KJ is not the only person who has referenced Mario's lost love as my lost twin.

Perhaps it's, again, due the the hair (not even close). Perhaps it's the fact that she's a Princess and, in case you didn't know, I am too. Or, perhaps it's due to the fact that scary monster-type creatures like to kidnap her and she's always waiting on some short, chubby plumber and his stupid brother to jump over the fire balls and weird long-necked turtles and stop rescuing wannabes. I'm just sayin.

Oh well. There are worst female gaming characters to be compared too. At least I got the modest, high-necked dress, gloves and dress to the floor chick. He could've said I remind him of Lora Croft and I would've had to have him committed. She's not even blonde.

So, what exactly am I supposed to infer from all of this? All of these beautiful, fictional characters remind KJ of me. And, by his definition, in a good way. This is supposed to make me feel better about my 35% hotness, right? Well KJ, it doesn't. You totally fail. Why? Because I don't carry a gun. And I don't ever want to be in the military. And, other than that one time, I've never thrown a turtle shell at the driver in front of me hoping to knock him off a cliff. I'm just a plain 'ole assistant with fading blonde hair who drives 80 miles an hour on the highway in a black Jeep. Sorry to disapp...wait a sec, that last part is kinda hot.

Note to self: NEVER sell the Jeep. Thanks, Kev!


*Whoa, that rhymed. My bad.

Smiling = Ugly

Text conversation I had with Romeo this morning:

Him: How are you feeling this morning?

Me: Well I was feeling pretty blah but I just read a comment on my blog that made my day.

Him: What was it?

Me: Remember that post about the face analyzer that said I was ugly? The creator commented.

Him: The creator? What did he say?

Me: "I am Rhee SC, BAPA developer. You seems to landmark facial point or fiducials incorrectly. The calculated attractiveness in general, 60-90 for average peoples. You'd better try to analyze your face with more standardized photo and follow guiding description for better define facial landmark. Thanks."

Him: Haha, nice. Why did that make your day?

Me: It gave me something to blog about.

Though, I gotta tell ya, I'm not completely sure what to blog about. Nothing about that comment really makes me look good. I mean, according to him (or her), I'm not the 25 points BELOW the average on the attractiveness scale.

Instead, I'm so freakin dense I can't even figure out simple "put that pointer here and click" instruction. Is that supposed to be better than being ugly? It's not really working out all that well for Jessica Simpson.

And what does "standardized photo" mean exactly?* I thought it just meant "try and keep people out of the picture that are prettier than you."

Sigh.


*UPDATE: I went back and read the instructions a little further on the site (pardon my moment of male-ness) and wouldn't you know it, there's a link for good tips of a "standardized photo." Tip #2: "Your face is relaxed and lips are closed smoothly." So, that explains the lip index issue. Too bad I don't own a single photo of me without either my mouth wide open or flashing those pearly whites. So basically, if I could keep my big mouth shut, I'd be freakin gorgeous.

Tagged And I Don't Hate You And UPDATED: Best Friends of a Different Sex Survey

Trophy Wife tagged me on a Christmas survey so I'll be getting to that in a moment. Fair warning. When you see the numbers, you can stop reading this post.

But before we get to that, I need to tell you that I keep "adjusting" my blog and it likes to delete my list of favorite bloggers. If you read this and don't see your name over on the left, it's not 'cause I hate you. It's 'cause my blog hates you. Please let me know and I'll return you to your rightful spot as one of Mandy's favorites.

Also, if you've never been over there 'cause I don't know you have a blog and read this, that's rude. Tell me. Then we can be friends and you will get a prize.*

Ok, let's see if I can make this worth reading:

1.Wrapping paper or gift bags? You don't have to wrap them, just give them to me.

2. Real Tree or Artificial? Fake

3. When do you put up the tree? Apparently, whenever my roommates and I are all home at the same time for more than 20 minutes. So never.

4. When do you take the tree down? Halloween

5. Do you like eggnog? Yup

6. Favorite gift received as a child? Training bra. When I was 17.

7. Hardest person to buy for? Everyone. So I don't anymore.

8. Do you have a nativity scene? What does that have to do with Christmas?

9. Mail or email Christmas cards? I prefer carrier pigeon.

10. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Jason

11. Favorite Christmas Movie? The Elf

12. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Christmas Eve

13. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? I'm giving Mom the training bra back this year.

14. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Dad's enchiladas

15. Lights on the tree? Yes

16. Favorite Christmas song? Throw the Yule Log On Uncle John

17. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Stay home

18. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer's? "Reindeer's?" Really?

19. Angel on the tree top or a star? Star

20. Open the presents Christmas Eve or Christmas Day? Christmas morning.

21. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? Working in retail

22. Favorite ornament theme or color? Uh...yes?

23. Favorite for Christmas dinner? Bratwurst and little smokies

24. What do you want for Christmas this year? Peace on earth and a new computer

25. Who is most likely to respond to this? No one. But I'm gonna tag Cara, Amanda and Erika.

*You won't really get a prize. But I had to say something to get you to want to be my friend since, apparently, I'm not enough. It's kinda like when you tell someone, "I love you" and they say, "Thank you" or "That's so sweet." Hurts doesn't it? You don't even know!

UPDATED: Right after I finished this post, my boss came out of his office and I gave him this message: "Abby called." That was all the chick told me to say to him so that's all I said. So Brent gets this huge smile and says to me, "That's my best friend. You need to meet her sometime. She's amazing." Now, my question is, knowing that my boss is married and has 2 kids, do you think it's odd that his best friend is a girl named Abby? Can married people have best friends of the opposite sex? Tell me...

What If I Didn't Even Have A Blog?

Things That Are Awesome About Today:

• Romeo is coming home
• Trophy Wife gets to go see Brittany somehow. That would be like me getting to make out with Tony Romo. Except the girls probably won't make out. Well...maybe. Cool. You go Brittany.
• I'm turning in my Voluntary Separation Package application
• I get off at noon just 'cause I want to
• I get to cook dinner tonight
  

Things That Are Not Awesome About Today:

• It's 36 degrees outside
• I had to take a cold shower
• I'm probably not going to make out with Tony Romo
• The fact that 90% of my readers won't leave a comment
• This post

The Face That Launched A Thousand...Gag Reflexes

Considering it's only a matter of time until yours truly is excused from her sorry excuse for a day job, I have taken it upon myself to do absolutely nothing. A change from normal day-to-day activity, I assure you. Ahem.

Anyway, so today I was stalking checking out the Geekologie blog and happened upon his post of BAPA Web. BAPA stands for Balanced Angular and Proportional Analysis is an online facial analyzer that is supposed to determine if a person is attractive or not. I like to call it the Chinese version of "Hot or Not." Actually, I shouldn't say that. It could be Japanese. I don't really know the difference.

What I do know is, it must be broken:

35%? Ouch. Thanks a lot low lip index. You ruined my curve.

And, as if that's not bad enough, if you scroll down below that horrid orange bar graph, they'll give you a detailed list of all the plastic surgery you need to sign yourself up for:

I always knew my Mr. Bean nose would keep me from that modeling career but I never dreamed my mandible would let me down! And what the H is a gonial index?! I'm a girl for crying out loud!!*

And don't think for one second that I didn't notice the common theme: "Your ___ is somewhat larger/wider/bulkier than...most attractive faces."

That's it, I'm going on a face diet.

*You'll get that tomorrow.

Life As We Know It...

From the Kansas City Business Journal:

Waddell & Reed offers early buyouts, may make further job cuts

Feeling the pinch from the stock market’s free fall, Waddell & Reed Financial Inc. has started cutting employees.

Spokesman Roger Hoadley said Monday that the Overland Park-based company (NYSE: WDR) plans to cut 15 percent of its compensation costs. He said the company started offering a voluntary separation package Friday, with enhanced severance incentives tied to job grade and tenure. The voluntary separation offer expires Dec. 4, he said.

“Depending on the result of this voluntary separation program, we’ll look at other alternatives, including the need for involuntary separation,” Hoadley said.

Waddell & Reed CEO Hank Herrmann said in an internal memo to employees on Thursday that the cuts are due to a “swift and violent” decline in stock and bond prices. Most of the company’s revenue comes from fees based on assets under management, Herrmann said, so the company needs to reduce expenses to be more in line with revenue.

Waddell & Reed started the year with $70 billion in assets under management. That has declined to less than $45 billion, Herrmann said in the memo.

“I know that the timing of this announcement, given the approach of the holidays, could not be worse,” Herrmann wrote to employees. “Like you, I wish we were not in this situation. The severity of the market and economic downturn and their impact on us leave us no choice but to take decisive action now, to reduce expenses.”

Hoadley said the company does not plan to cut financial advisers.

Waddell & Reed has 1,030 employees in the Kansas City area and 1,673 overall.

Yup, I'm one of those 1,030 employees.

I Won't Really Burn Your House Down

John (a coworker): What are you eating?! That smells horrible!

Nicole (my boss): It's pea soup. Nutritious and tastes just like cat vomit. Want some?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I guess no one cares about my injury last week. Or you were just too shocked and appalled by the intensity of it to comment. Or you hate elephants. Rude. If you're going to hate large mammals, you should hate camels. They stink and spit and are uncomfortable at Jewish bar mitzvahs.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Romeo and I visited the great state of Kentucky last weekend (by way of Tennessee). Two states I've never been to before and am looking forward to returning to. The people there are nice and have accents that make me seem smarter than I really am. I like that.

Romeo met his new family (the Western Kentucky University men's basketball coaching staff) and I got to shop a little and enjoy the fantastiosity of not having to work 2 jobs for 4 whole days. Glory was mine.

Due to his amazingness, Romeo and I got prime seats at the game that Saturday where, for the entire first half of the game, I got to stare at this:


Annoying. But, luckily for me, there was a student in the stands who decided that he was the WKU Pep Squad and spent the entire second half utilizing the power he must've received from drinking 28 cans of Red Bull during halftime:

Awesome.

Other than that, Romeo and I relaxed as much as possible. Here are some candid photos of your favorite couple from the game and Date Night in Nashville:

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

In other news, my birthday was last weekend. If you forgot to tell me "Happy Birthday," you have exactly 24 hours before I burn your house down.

I Don't Even Know Any Elephants

So yesterday starts out just like any other day. I get up (reluctuantly), shower, get ready for work, curse under my breath at the idiots who somehow don't know you can't merge if you're not moving, and arrive at work to find that I'm completely bossless. Thinking to myself, "well today will be boring but good, hurray" I sit in my chair and open my bottom desk drawer to put my purse in its usual daily spot. As I'm straightening back up from my stooped over position, my body convulses in one of those "no warning, I'm just here to freak you out" sneezes. These sneezes are normally harmless enough because they come on so quickly you don't have time to attempt to hold them in and risk your eyeballs getting popped right out of their sockets. But this sneeze destroyed me. It was not the fact that I never work out and my body was just waiting to completely break down. Or the fact that I'm turning 26 on Sunday, enabling me to fully embrace the nickname Granny Moo. It was only the position I was in that allowed a 2 ton elephant to kick me right in the back and then dance the Mashed Potato on it while I grabbed my desk and screamed in horror "WHY GOD WHY?!?!"

Ok, that last part actually only happened in my brain. Except for the elephant part. That was real. Except he was doing the Cha-Cha.

So now, for the past 24 hours, I've been dealing with the stares you get when you look like you have a giant fishhook shoved right up your rectum. Not the stares you get when you actually do. Those are more stares of horror and disgust and trying to figure out what you were fishing for. The ones I'm getting are the ones you get when people are thinking "she must have really bad hemorrhoids." And at this point, I wish I did. Actually, I shouldn't say that 'cause I don't really know what hemorrhoids feel like. It could feel like an elephant doing the Cha-Cha on my ovaries and, if that's the case, I think I'd rather have it on my back. If I knew how to do the Cha-Cha, I may even join in. But I don't. Think he'd switch to the Macarena? That one, I know.

PS - It just occurred to me that if the elephant is doing the Macarena, that wouldn't hurt my back as much as the Cha-Cha because you don't really use your feet all that much. And I wanna get the most for my money to keep him from Boot Scootin' over to my ovaries. Maybe we could do the Elictric Slide. I know that one too.

PPS - No one even said "God bless you." That's what really hurts.

Caption Contest!!

You probably won't win anything but see what you can come up with. =) Good luck!!

When you're done with that, say a little prayer for us dorks. We fly out tomorrow morning at 7am for Kentucky!!! Yeeeee-haw!!!

Oh, and if you just can't stand the pain my absence leaves you with, check out this blog. It's my new favorite.

Be good my babies!
Mandy ><>

Happy Halloween Guys and Gouls!!

Guys, I may have to change my vote. Seriously. How can you NOT vote for someone with Yoda as their campaign manager?! "Mmmmm win the election, you won't."

And remember: You're never too old to pretend to be someone (or something else) and get free candy.

Boo!
Mandy <><

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

It's Fall Ya'll!

Yup, sure is. I took that picture myself exactly 2 years ago with the crappiest camera known to man but that didn't stop those colors from showing through. Whoo-wee, that's purty!! I think God likes to think of Kansas as His little coloring book.

Though I usually prefer the summer to any weather that requires the use of pantyhose, there are quite a few things that make fall worth enduring. Those colors you see above are #1. Here are a few extras:

#2 - Football
You had to know that was coming. However if you know this Romo-lovin' girl at all, you may be surprised not to find my Cowboys holdin' fast at the #1 spot as in years past. Well, in case you've been missing out, I'm more than just a little peeved at the stench that's been wafting all the way up here to KC from the Dallas-Ft. Worth area (not Jackson's diapers, Cara. It's much worse than that). And...to be honest, I have to (reluctantly) admit that the football-lovin' girl you all know and love has been dutifully attempting to attune her ear less to the glorified clashing sound of helmut to helmut and more to the gentle squeek of the size 13 Air Jordan on maple.

#3 - Fall Break/Maple Leaf
My brothers were home last week for their Fall Break which just happened to fall at the exact time of Baldwin City's MapleLeaf Festival. A household tradition since my family moved to the B.C. back in 1998, we spent a few hours rummaging the craft booths and eating our body weight in funnel cake. Unfortunately, I didn't get a single picture. ='( I keep meaning to take more pictures but, for some reason, I just can't remember to take the stupid thing out of my purse. Anyway, we had a good time. Besides the festival, and sticking with fall break tradition, we hit up The Beast and Edge of Hell (2 huge-mongus haunted houses in downtown KC) and were also blessed to witness the union of 2 of our good friends: Lindsay McKinney and Nicolas Sayre. Fantastic fun and much needed vacay for this overworked honey.

#4 - Hoodies
Self-explanatory. You know you love 'em. I don't so much love to wear them myself but I've discovered that they sure look cute on some people and feel good to cuddle with. Who knew?! =)

#5 - Holidays
Here's the countdown (in reverse order of importance):

Halloween: 9 days
Christmas: 63 days

Thanksgiving: 28 days

My birthday: 24 days

Everyone say it with me: "Good luck Austin." =D

#6 - Travel

For most people, this comes with the holidays but, in my extensive background of (usually) working retail during this time of year, this benefit has never graced my Top Faves of Fall. Seeing as how this year happens to be a repeat of my fall tradition (i.e.: my 2nd job is at a Christian bookstore), traveling will be out of the question yet again this holiday season. However, before the holiday season begins (Nov.7-10), my handsome and talented boyfriend has asked me to accompany him to the great state of Kentucky for preview of his internship life to come. I'm so excited!! We're going to visit not only Bowling Green but Nashville! AND I'll get to celebrate my birthday with two of my very bestest friends who live there! Yippee!! I promise to have pictures of that!

I think that about covers it. I'm mucho excited about the weeks to come and trying hard not to let the 2nd job blues or my S.A.D. get in the way. God is in the rain!

I love you all and miss you like ca-razy! Tell me a funny story or clean joke. Go!

Mandy ><>

Shocking? Nope.

HowManyOfMe.com

There are 6,206 people with my name in the U.S.A. how/'>http://howmanyofme.com">How many have your name?

Celebrity Look-a-Likes

For Your Ammusement
(and mine)

Fireproof

Lt. Caleb Holt lives by the old firefighter's adage: Never leave your partner behind. Inside burning buildings, it's his natural instinct. In the cooling embers of his marriage, it's another story.

After a decade of marriage, Caleb and Catherine Holt have drifted so far apart that they are ready to move on without each other. Yet as they prepare to enter divorce proceedings, Caleb's dad asks his son to try an experiment: The Love Dare.

While hoping The Love Dare has nothing to do with his parents' newfound faith, Caleb commits to the challenge. But can he attempt to love his wife while avoiding God's love for him? Will he be able to demonstrate love over and over again to a person that's no longer receptive to his love? Or is this just another marriage destined to go up in smoke? (Plot synopsis from IMDb)

I probably wouldn't have even known about this movie if I didn't have that 2nd job at Lifeway so now I'm doing my best to get it known to others. People kept coming and and saying it was "so good" and "truly amazing" so I thought it might just be worth a peak.

I knew enough about the book and the "Fireproof My Marriage" study we also sold at Lifeway to know the movie was going to be more Christian and marriage-related in nature than most, so I asked Mom and Dad to join Austin and I for the viewing last night. I worried that it would be more applicable to my parents who have been married for 25 years than to Austin and I who are still new in our courtship but I figured there might be 1 or 2 things we could draw from it. Boy was I wrong. No matter what relationship stage you're in (married, divorced, planning to marry someday-with or without knowing who that person is), you will benefit from this movie.

Knowing it was a Christian-made and based movie told me 1 thing to expect: Bad acting. And there is. Not horribly bad but there's no Tom Hanks or Sandra Bullock-level experience to be had. But, there were also a few things I expected that I was happily dissapointed in. Here are the things that surprised me from the movie:

1. It's hilarious. There are parts of this movie and characters involved that made me laugh harder than most comedies I've seen. Really, really funny stuff.

2. The drama is absolutely up to par. This is where the acting doesn't fail. There are a few on-the-edge-of-your-seat moments and they will do just that. I was proud.

3. The sheer number of people in the theater. The movie opened Thursday night at midnight (rather, Friday morning) and I heard that our AMC theater sold out that night. 3 days later, we still had a packed house. It was awesome. It's nice to see such support up here out of the Bible belt for a movie with actual meaning.

So, in case you aren't convinced yet: GO SEE THIS MOVIE!!! It's definitely on my favorites list.

Until next time, may "the peace of God, which passes all understanding, keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." (Phil. 4:7)

Love you,
Mandy ><>

PS - Girls, take tissues... =)

In Case You Were Wondering...

Your Name
As defined by the Urban Dictionary

Aaron
In India "Aaron" is a slang word for pimp.

Austin
Ultra sexy male who usually has at least 2 ladies around him. You wanna be seen around an Austin.
(2 ladies?! The other better be your sister...) =)

Cara
A wonderful girl who looks exotic and is a great person to me around. They also aren't a stalker, but is very good with guys.
(Haha, I don't know girl...)

Erika
(Sorry, Swearika yielded no results. Go figure.)
One who is naturally equited with the tools and machinary to pull off a succesful and satisfactory rape of an unsuspecting victim. Those who get raped by an Erika usually end up savoring every last minute of it.

Karen
A person who deserves to be punched in the liver and pushed into a water fountain.
(Punched in the liver?! I don't agree with this, just so you know.) =)

Kevin
A physically attractive, selfish, self centered friend/occasional lover who loves tattoos, beer and great music. Positive outlook on life, keeps everything neat, clean and well organized, and only likes movies with interesting plots and listens to adam corrolla.

Scott
A racist against blacks. Typically short and loudmouthed.

Twig
A tall goon-ish character with long arms and long legs who never fails to make his friends laugh. Twig is a handsome, loathsome brute yet I can't take my eyes off of him!

And last but certainly not least...

Mandy
Slang for MDMA. "Mandy" is a powder form of the drug ecstacy. Is often preferred to ecstasy pills as MDMA is pure, whilst ecstasy pills are often adulterated. It is a popular drug amongst ravers and people who do not trust the purity of pills, and ecstasy in general has always been associated, often by the police and government, with the underground dance music scene.


There you have it folks!!

First Things First...

ARRRGH!!!

It’s that time again Mateys!!!

Happy National Talk Like a Pirate Day to ye!!

In honor of such a glorious holiday, I give ye some Pirate humor! Shiver me timbers!!

Q: What do pirates do in their spare time?
A: Arrrrrrt!!

Q: Why does it take Pirates so long to learn to spell?A: Because they spend so much time at C!

A pirate walks into a bar wearing a paper towel on his head. He sits down at the bar and orders some dirty rum.
The bartender asks, "Why are you wearing a paper towel?"
"Arrr..." says the pirate, "I've got a bounty on me head!"

Q: What did the Pirate say when he had a heart attack?
A: Arrr! Me heartie!!

Q: How much did the Pirate pay for his piercings?
A: A buck-an-ear!

I hope ye Scalawags find some buried treasure today! Arrrrgh!!


------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alright, now that that's over, let's get on to the serious stuff. =)

Many thanks to those of you who chose to comment on my last post. Its good to know I still have amazing friends ready to stand up for me, even if we don't totally agree on everything. You all had something interesting and thought-provoking to say and I'm contemplating each opinion thoroughly. Here are some notes I have for each of you so far:

Scott - You are too smart for your own good. But, then again, you always have been. =) Thank you for your amazingly kind words. It blessed me immensely to know that you still think of me as a good friend even though I haven't seen you in what? 6 years?! Wow. Anyway, a lot of what you said has been the thread I've been holding onto these past few months and I appreciate the backup. Paul is my hero but I'm still not quite sure how exactly to "count it pure joy when [I] face trials of many kinds." But I'm working on it. Hearing my thoughts on the matter come from someone else strengthens me greatly. Thanks for wisdom and friendship old friend! =) (That's old as in "long-time" not a comment about your age. Arrrgh!!)

Swearika - First of all, I absolutely love the irony of that name. In high school, your swear words consisted of "Oh my cow!" and "Gramma!" You rebel you. =) Anyway, thank you as well for your kind words and great wisdom. I agree with you on serving others with our talents and I found the quote you gave from Mosiah very interesting. It reminded me of the parable Jesus tells in Matthew about the King saying "... whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me." I think that's a really good point. The 1 problem I had with it is, shouldn't your family come first? I think that, if you can't even help your own family, should you be trying to help others? But, then again, maybe her family doesn't need help or maybe she is just better at helping others. Either way, I think ou're right, that talent should not go to waste. (Matthew 25:29) Thanks G-Sauce!

Twig - First of all, thanks for the writing analysis. Haha, made me feel good. I'm glad I can write things that hook people. =) I agree with you that we should pray that no matter who wins, God will work through that person for the greatest outcome to His glory. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't care and weigh the facts before we go in there and just punch the card in a pretty little pattern. (I know that's not what you said, I'm just trying to make a point.) =) I think the freedom we've been given to vote in the first place is a gift from God that we should not take lightly. He is a God of choice and our choices in life affect our outcome later on. I think the same goes for seemingly everyday, mundane things. I definitely understand your contempt against politics and it's ability to separate people by our differing opinions but that happens with just about everything. I highly doubt there are 2 people in this world who agree on everything 100%. We need to learn to embrace our political differences just like everything else and not let them get in the way of our relationships. Because, believe me, when we allow these things to separate us, all that's left is a trail of hurt. Thanks for your comment loyalty buddy!

Cara - Your comment really surprised me. Though not in a bad way. I was hoping you would comment because, (no offense to the others) as a Mom, I value your opinion the most on this subject. Problem is, I really expected you to agree with me. =) It made it extremely interesting. I never expected her to be a stay at home mom (hardly anyone can do that 100% thanks to the economy these days). I just thought that the gravity of her career choice was too much. But, I think you're right. Someone like her would obviously want to be in this position. She's probably been dreaming of it for years. So now I'm afraid that, if she did drop out for her kids, she would in some way always blame them for that. That would be terrible. And I have no doubt the kids would pick up on it instantly. In the long run, it might actually be better for them if she does make it. If anyone knows what the difference between an unhappy Mom and a happy Mom does to her kids, its me. And I'd want my Mom to be happy. Thank you so much for sharing Cara. And give the boys my love!

For those of you who haven't had a chance to comment yet, the lines are still open. I'll take anything. If you're holding back disagreements 'cause you're afraid I'll cry about them, please don't. I promise to be open if you are. =)

I love you all so very much and miss those of you I haven't seen in way too long. Let's get together yeah yeah yeah! Shouldn't we be getting close to a 10 year BHS reunion? We would've had a 5 year had we actually elected a class President with responsiblity! (Plug for you Scott. I voted for you.) =)

*Muah!*
Mandy ><>

"I thank my God upon every rememberance of you." -Philippians 1:3

Glutton for Punishment? You Decide.

Well, apparently, meaningless picture-laden posts just don’t get people’s attention anymore. =p

Alright, I have to begin by admitting that I’m quite a bit more than extensively nervous to write this post. The last time I shared my opinion on something, I had to endure nothing less than a catastrophe (as some of you may recall). I was publicly and privately ridiculed, lost a very large group of friends and basically had to rearrange a large chunk of my life. And, even though I do feel like my life has improved because of it, it kinda hurt (understatement of the century) and I’d rather not do that again. So, before I begin (even though this didn’t work last time), let me state one more time that the following is completely MY OPINION!!!!! For the love of all things holy and decent, please please PLEASE do not take any of this personally.

Here goes…

Ok, some of you might be a little disappointed to learn that, as a whole, Mandy votes 99.9% Republican, no matter what the issue or who the candidate. I think that most people would find that a little upsetting and I see your point of view. I am aware of the fact that it’s not really a smart/safe practice and, a lot of times, the candidate I’m voting for truly isn’t the best man for the job. But, the truth is, the word Democrat scares the pee out of me.

As I stated in my last “controversial” post, I am quite the conservatist. This is due mostly to the way I was raised (which is true of just about everyone) and the fact that I actively hold the Bible precedent over all other sources of information, opinions, laws, etc. I do not agree with or condone abortion and homosexuality and find that, sometimes, war is, in fact, necessary. *Gasp!* I know. Deal.

Anyway, that’s a road I don’t really want to take this post down so I’m gonna back up a bit. I just wanted to give you a little background before I dive in to what I really want to say.

This year, after the Presidential candidates were chosen for this election, I decided to put my hardcore Republican-only voting record aside and really look at what I had in front of me. This was mostly due to the fact that, everywhere I looked, it seemed Obama was staring me in the face. (This was probably mostly due to the Democratic radio station I listen to almost religiously. But the music on The Buzz is sooo good!) =) Anyway, my point is, you had to dig to find anything about McCain but Obama was, and still is, incredibly popular. And, because I still have some faith left in my fellow Americans, I figured there had to be a good reason. So I started looking (though not extensively by any means) and here are the marks I gave:

Background
(Note: I believe this list to be somewhat more important than where the candidates stand on the different issues.)

Education - In truth, on paper, Obama’s gotta have a bigger IQ than McCain. I believe this is evident by their speeches for one but also the fact that McCain (at least as far as what I saw) didn’t take his schooling as seriously as Obama did. So, for education, I give Obama a checkmark and McCain a Debbie Downer “waa-waaaaa.”

Career - One thing I found quite interesting while digging into the careers of both candidates is that Obama’s list is much longer than McCains. Obama’s resume actually reminds me of mine. My “Work Experience” section stretches on for 2 whole pages (and that’s only ‘cause I left out a few babysitting jobs and the summer I spent mowing lawns for USD 348). I am an amazing candidate for secretarial work and/or customer service. It looks pretty impressive and really is if I’m applying for a job similar to the one I have now. Problem is, I could never be President with that list. And neither could 98% of the other lawyers in the world. Winner: McCain.

Religion - Blech and blech. The end.

Family – This one is split. Obama gets the gold star in marriage thanks to McCain’s somewhat shady divorce from his first wife (for whatever the reason, I’m not proud of that situation), but I love love love the McCain kids. Not that Obama’s children aren’t awesome as well, just that they’re a little young and you can’t fully see the reflection of parental responsibility until a child is grown. All seven of McCains children are, as far as I could find, good, upstanding adults.

Issues

Abortion – McCain (or, if you prefer, Republican in general)

Same Sex – Neither (but I lean towards McCains view more)

Gun Control – This is a whole other blog in itself. I’ll simply say for now that I don’t agree with the Constitution on this issue so I don’t even take it into account when voting. I just hope I don’t get shot. =)

War – Honestly, it doesn’t make sense to me to have any opinion on this issue whatsoever unless you really and truly know what we’re dealing with. So, I listen to those with military experience, especially those involved right now and especially those that are close to my heart. If you are fighting in Iraq right now or have any military experience at all and don’t agree that we should stay over there, please let me know. Until then, I’m listening to the 3 men I know over there, the 2 about to go and, most of all, my recently married cousin willingly returning in December for his 2nd tour. Winner: McCain.

Obviously there are a whole lot of other issues that I could (and probably should) address but, this post is already a lot longer than I intended and I haven’t gotten to the thing I hold the highest opinion on. So I’m gonna move on. Considering I’m a Republican though, it’s a safe bet to assume that I’ll lean towards McCain on just about all of the rest.

So…as you can see, in background, I’m pretty split down the middle of these two candidates. It is only their position on issues that makes me lean towards McCain. But that, again, is because of my background and the fact that I too – at least as far as issues go – am a Republican. It was bound to happen. So, based on all that I listed, it makes sense for me (that’s me, not you) to vote for McCain, wouldn’t you agree? In the bag. Done. Finito! Or so I thought…

Enter Vice Presidential candidates. If you don’t hate me yet, you probably will.

Confession: Mandy is sexist.

Hard to believe? Probably not. Refer to that "controversial" post and the reason 2/3 of the CABB group no longer speak to me and you’ll see that you already knew that. What’s funny is, most of the time when you say someone is “sexist,” it is assumed that they value their gender above the other. Not me. I’m the exact opposite (which is NOT reverse sexism people!!!) Sorry, flashback to my days at the EEOC…

“Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God…For man did not come from woman but woman from man; neither was man made for woman but woman for man.” –1 Corinthians 11:3,8-9

You had to know there was gonna be some Bible in here somewhere. Well, there it is. I get my Jesus star for the day. =) Kidding!!!

Anyway, so, if you haven’t already figured it out, I am having some struggle dealing with McCains choosing of Sarah Palin as his running mate. First of all, I can already see the arguments my Christian friends might have with equating this verse with this situation:

“But Mandy, McCain IS the head. Palin is just the Vice President. I could see how this argument would fit if Hilary was still in the running.” (Which it did, by the way.)

Or

“But Mandy, this verse is intended for marriage, not the presidential candidates.” (Prove it.)

And one step further…

“Well Mandy, do you have a problem with female bosses in businesses? What if Waddell & Reed got a female CEO?” (Answer: Yes and I’d quit.)

Please understand that I do not believe that women are not capable of doing the same things men do. Well, some really aren’t but, have you met my mother? I just think we’re (A) not supposed to, (B) don’t need too or, (C) shouldn’t. Take your pick. I apply the appropriate answer depending on the situation. With Palin, however, I can’t really figure out which response to specifically apply to her. Maybe, in this case, I don’t need to apply any. *Gasp!* “Wait! Are you saying you think a woman SHOULD be VP?!”

No. I’m not. But I’m not saying a woman shouldn’t either. Perhaps that verse DOES apply just to marriage. Perhaps it’s ok for women to be VP’s or P’s or CEO’s or any other letter or letters they wanna be. I’m not comfortable with it, but that alone doesn’t necessarily make it wrong for anyone but me personally. (Hence, why I’ve always been an “Assistant.”) Especially where Palin is concerned. As far as women go for being really good Presidential or Vice Presidential candidates, she pretty much takes the cake. I believe she truly has the ability, resume and general presence to do the job she’s running for.

Here’s the problem I do have with Palin:

Son Track (19) – Just deployed to Iraq
Daughter Bristol (17) – Pregnant, unwed
Daughter Willow (13) – 13 years old; enough said
Daughter Piper (7) – Hilarious and full of energy
Son Trig (4 months) – Down syndrome

This an argument that I’ve found is usually put out there by self-proclaimed Democrats. One said:

“I've had to chuckle over conservative pundits tripping over themselves with delight when they name Sarah Palin as the poster child for conservative women with family values. True heroines of conservative women, such as Dr. Laura Schlessinger, assert that parents, especially mothers, need to spend large quantities of time with their children and arrange their working hours so that one parent is always available to care for the children. In this framework, the concept of a feminist pro-life woman is oxymoronic; the life the woman is concerned about is her own.”

As harsh as this may be, I have to say that I agree with this opinion. Look at Palin’s situation. I am not a mother but motherly instinct tells me that, if you were to pick any one of those children, you’d have yourself a full-time job. Palin’s got 5!!

Now, who knows? Maybe she can co-lead a country and raise 5 children who could all use a little extra attention. Maybe Todd Palin wants to be a stay at home Dad and is really, really good at it. I don’t know. And I probably never will. But, as a conservative woman and (Lord willing) future mother, I do not condone her taking this on. At least not right now. Her children should be her first priority and I just cannot see anyway they could with the demand of what she is trying to do.

So here’s my dilemma: If I don’t condone her running alongside McCain in the first place, should I vote in a way that may allow her entry to the White House? Like I said, she IS a good candidate but I hold family values higher on my list of priorities than any other issue. So what now? Do I allow McCains choice in running mate to discredit my decision to vote for him? Afterall, I don’t think Obama is a BAD choice. I just don’t think he’s the BEST choice. But, then again, is McCain really the BEST choice? Reminds me of a quote by a noted scholar: “I’m pretty convinced that whoever it comes down to in the general election, it’s going to be like Alien vs. Predator: Whoever wins, we lose.” Gah! *Tears hair out*

Maybe Jesus will come back before November 6. We can only hope and pray.

All my love my babies,

Mandy ><>

Mandy Is...

...wondering if anyone would like to hear her opinions about the upcoming election...

Definition of an Awesome Weekend:

In case you can't tell, that's my Daddy baptizing my boyfriend. Currently the two men I respect the most in this world. God is sooo good! =)


"When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul."

Lost...

Well, in an attempt to make things a little brighter around here, I managed to lose a few of you. If you read this and don't see your name to the right, leave me a comment so I can get you back!

*Hugs!*

Mandy

NEWS NEWS NEWS!!!

It's official, my boyfriend will be a Hilltopper!!
(Whatever that is...) =)

Austin got a call on Friday afternoon from the coaching staff at Western Kentucky University. As soon as he signs the internship contract, he'll be their newest addition! Wahoo!

Now all I need is that call from American Idol and both of our dreams will be within reach. =)

I hope this week finds you all counting your blessings, too!

Love love love love!!

-Mandy-

Did You Miss Me?

'Cause I totally missed you!! I just noticed it's been almost a month since I last posted. Well that just won't do. No bueno. Sorry kiddos. I was waiting for more pics to post from the weddings I attended last month but I just can't wait any longer. I miss you too much! =)

Well, I suppose we'll start there.


Something Old, Something New...

I had the pleasure of standing next to 2 of the most beautiful brides that have ever said "I do" about a month ago in Lubbock. Both weddings were so incredibly beautiful. Mandy has her pics out already so I'll let you preview those and promise to get Heather's on here ASAP.

First of all, let me inform you that all of these photos were taken by Niki's Photography (I have a blogger link to her on the right, too). She's amazing! Go check her out.

Ok, here we go!

Despite the sun that was burning my retinas the whole time, it was one of the most beautiful weddings I've been in (and if you know how many weddings I've been in, that's a HUGE deal).

Heather's was completely different but also one of the most beautiful I've ever been in. I can't wait to show you pics from hers!

Other than that, it was a joy to see Aaron, Dusty, Nathan and my brothers in TX and have lunch with KJ and Harrison on the way (mmm Braums). I love that I have all these boys in my life watching out for me. My brothers still inspire me every day, KJ and Harrison always make me laugh, Nathan gives the best hugs, Dusty does everything he can to convince me he's not still stalking me and Aaron...he does all of the above. =) I love you all!

In Other News...

Well, speaking of boys in my life who watch out for me, I know you're all anxious to hear the latest on that tall boy that I have in my life. If not, feel free to skip this part. But know this: You suck. =)

Austin and I are doing very well, thank you. Better and better every day. Which is ridiculously new for me. Usually, by this point, I can see things start to go downhill but there are no signs of that right now. Sure, we have our low moments and tough situations but, overall, things are fantastic.

You'll also be happy to know that we've settled on a church family situation. We're going to Southside in Lawrence. For those of you that have been on this blog journey with me a long time, it's the church I attended when I lived in Lawrence and that my parents have been members of since I was in high school. I know, I'm shocked too. But God knows better than I do and, from the look of things, it's one of the smarter decisions I've made this year. The reasons I wanted out of Southside a year ago simply don't hold up anymore. People change and so do their needs. Austin has found what he needs there and so have I. Plus, it's been a blessing to have my parents around a little bit more (who both love Austin, just so you know).

Other than that, there's not much more to update you on. I do have a few prayer requests though, if you don't mind:

Austin is beginning to apply for his internship in the spring and has his hopes set on Western Kentucky where he has a few connections. Please pray that God sends him where He wants him and that it's a good place for him to grow in every way.

My brother Jason is struggling a little with Texas Tech and his grad school situation. At this point, we're not sure what's going to happen but he already lives and works there.

As for me, I need strength. And lots of it. I've recently taken on a 2nd job like I usually do in the fall in an attempt to get caught up on some debt and get ready for the holiday season. I'm working nights and weekends at Lifeway. The job is a piece of cake, really and a great way to make a little extra$ (just enough to pay for gas) but it's taxing in other ways. In the end, it's good though and I'm grateful to have found it.

Also, I am still dealing with a little leftover dirt from the OP incident that I could use continued prayer on. I thank those of you who have been helping me deal with this, in whatever way. It's been rough but I think it's almost over.

Lighten Up...

Well I absolutely hate leaving these posts on sad notes so we're gonna do some fun stuff now before I say "adios."

Blessings my babies!
-Mandy-

"You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free." -John 8:32