The Face That Launched A Thousand...Gag Reflexes

Considering it's only a matter of time until yours truly is excused from her sorry excuse for a day job, I have taken it upon myself to do absolutely nothing. A change from normal day-to-day activity, I assure you. Ahem.

Anyway, so today I was stalking checking out the Geekologie blog and happened upon his post of BAPA Web. BAPA stands for Balanced Angular and Proportional Analysis is an online facial analyzer that is supposed to determine if a person is attractive or not. I like to call it the Chinese version of "Hot or Not." Actually, I shouldn't say that. It could be Japanese. I don't really know the difference.

What I do know is, it must be broken:

35%? Ouch. Thanks a lot low lip index. You ruined my curve.

And, as if that's not bad enough, if you scroll down below that horrid orange bar graph, they'll give you a detailed list of all the plastic surgery you need to sign yourself up for:

I always knew my Mr. Bean nose would keep me from that modeling career but I never dreamed my mandible would let me down! And what the H is a gonial index?! I'm a girl for crying out loud!!*

And don't think for one second that I didn't notice the common theme: "Your ___ is somewhat larger/wider/bulkier than...most attractive faces."

That's it, I'm going on a face diet.

*You'll get that tomorrow.