Title


Alright kids, buckle your safety belts. You didn't ask for it, but it's coming anyway. So, in the wise words of a short, plump, red and blue plumber: "Here we go!" (Props to you if you get that reference.)

The Good News...

So I had the immense pleasure of spending the past weekend at a retreat hosted by the Cats for Christ out of Manhattan. I've attended their Spring Retreat for the past 3 years and, after the bust that was the CABB retreat (that's right, I said it), I decided that it couldn't hurt to try another. Especially since past experience gave me reason to believe it would be exactly what I needed. Thank God for tradition. (That statement will be the theme for this post, by the way.)

Though I only get to see most of the group once a year, the Cats never cease to amaze me. They have the amazing ability to make anyone feel like they belong. I'll talk more about why this is especially meaningful to me in a moment but, I wanted to go ahead and put it out there since this is the "Good News" section. They are a wonderful group of Christian people and I'm honored every time I get to spend time with any of them. I didn't even mine the long road trip with Mario and Bill. Salt of the earth, those guys. Plus, when I stand between them, I feel like I have bodyguards. =) I do.

Anyway, so the retreat was phenomenal. Our small group was absolutely wonderful and probably the most rewarding for me. It felt good to have deep, meaningful conversations again. I didn't realize how much I'd been missing God. They re-confirmed my slightly faltering belief that it's impossible to be a complete/fulfilled child of God without spending time with his other children. I just needed to find children that wanted to spend time with me. Todd Lollar, our extremely gifted speaker was also one of the most inspiring people I've ever met. Plus, he has an affinity for local music, so he must be a good guy. =)

Other than that, I have a few other "Good News" items that I'll briefly touch on:

You'll be glad to hear that Chris and I finally had "the conversation." Via email. But that's ok. I take what I can get. =) We've mutually decided that pursuing a relationship would be a bad idea and, while I am a little sad, I'm more relieved. As much as I care for him and he for me, it's just not enough for us to hang around for 9 months and hope that, when he returns, things wouldn't be like they were this last time. That thought terrified me. But, we parted ways very civilly and will remain friends. He's still fighting and, unlike a lot of people, I still get it. We both needed a friend more anyway.

I'm not sure if I've mentioned this yet but I will be moving again at the end of May. Sorry my Texas friends, I'm only going to another area of KC. =) I'm really excited though. I've taken on 2 good friends as roommates and we are searching frantically for a place to reside. This means, among other things, a great financial relief for Mandy. And hopefully the return of Not Stressed and 'Sure I Can Come Visit You' Mandy. Double hurray for that!

And last, but most definitely not least: Crazy wedding stuff. I mentioned in the last post that it was 96 days til Heathers wedding. That count is down to 88 now and I need to get on the ball. But...I have new news to make this whole situation both fantastic and more nuts: My other best friend in the whole world (Mandy - yes Cara, that Mandy), is getting married in 87 days!!! That's right, my two best friends are getting married withing 24 hours of each other. Are you freakin kidding me?! Needless to say, I have a love/hate relationship with both of them right now. =) Just kidding girls!! I most definitely couldn't be more excited. And I'm just thankful you're both getting married in Lubbock. But if you think you're not having a joint bachelorette party, you're nuts! =) So yeah, that's on my to-do list for the extreme near future. And I refuse to believe that my life was the inspiration for the movie 27 Dresses.

The Bad News...

As much as I hate to end with this, I wanted to allow the people that don't read all of my blog to get the good stuff before they hit that red X up in the right-hand corner.
The following is the promised explanation of my current annoyance with the church of Christ. However, thanks to the Cats Retreat, I've discovered that my qualms are not against the cofC after all. They are more or less against those that (in my opinion) are making the rest of us look bad. So there you go. Feel free to opt out of reading at any moment.

Let me express one more time and in all caps that this is, in every possible way MY OPINION. I am not trying to preach at anyone and I definitely won't make you feel like a horrible person if you don't agree with me. I am aware of the fact that my opinions are slightly more conservative than that of most of my peers. I do not apologize for that nor expect an apology from anyone else. Our beliefs are just that: Ours. We are all still learning everyday. And if you're not, that's where the problem lies.

So, in the past few months, things have been gradually taking hold of my heart and causing major discontent in my life. I know it's been evident in my attitude and demeanor and I apologize for any offense I may have caused because of it. The only excuse I can muster is that people turn into monsters when they think humans are the worst creatures on this earth.

I know that's not a fair statement and, if I was to really be honest with myself, it wouldn't be a true statement either. I just said that so you might have some vague conception of how I've been feeling about a lot of the people around me lately. First of all, unfortunately, that CABB group that I once spoke so highly of has recently been faltering in a lot of ways. I saw inevitable destruction a few months ago but seem to have chosen the wrong way to go about solving the problems before they started.

Here are the main points that have been bothering me:

I've always enjoyed the CABB group because there is always something going on. When things first got kickin, we went thru withdrawals if we spent more than 24 hours apart. I really liked that. It feels really good to be part of a group that can't seem to get enough of you. However, there was something missing. Turns out: It was Jesus. Pretty awesome considering we're supposed to be a "church group" huh?

Anyway, the deal is, we were always together but rarely studying the Bible (food). 3 nights a week we play some sort of league sport, the rest we eat together at BWW or some other loud restaurant where serious talks are discouraged by the atmosphere. Wednesday night was "Guest Speaker Night" for awhile there. It was cool in that we would have a new person from some walk of life who was involved in the church come and speak to us about their duties in serving the Lord and his people. Nothing particularly bad about that and we got to know a lot of the members but, to me, no food. OP also does the Sunday night Lifegroup instead of church thing that a lot of churches have gone too in the past few years. Again, I don't particularly have a problem with that, as long as we're studying the Bible. Problem is, we weren't. One of the ministers at OP had made a CD-rom study with his own questions. There were Bible verses here and there but most of the time, only 2 of us even brought our Bible.

I think the proverbial "poop hitting the fan" point came one night during a Wednesday night class. Our speaker did not show up that evening and so we asked the elder in charge of our group if he could "wing it" for us. He happens to be a very well-educated man and someone I like quite a bit so I was pleased. And I was correct in assuming he would do something from the Word. So he spoke for a little bit and then told us to "Open our Bible to..." and I looked at one of the "leaders" of our group. He didn't have his. He saw the look on my face and said, "I didn't think I would need it!" I told him I never wanted to hear that statement from his mouth about the Bible again. That's when I knew things were bad...

After that night, I went to that elder and told him my concern. I asked if he would be willing to volunteer to teach the class on Wednesday nights so we could at least get something. To my pure joy, he said yes. Now I never miss Wednesday night. Though he is not perfect, he's very committed to the Word and absolutely loves in depth discussion. It's so fulfilling and has been such a blessing. Thank the Lord!

But, like some good things, this one came with a side of not-so-good. Before Curt took over our Wednesday night class, Sunday morning was the only time we seemed to crack open the Word at all. And I was grateful for that. I craved group study so bad I made sure to be awake and alert every Sunday morning without fail. But, once we started studying Bible on Wednesdays, it was as if the group couldn't take that much of it. Now we are going through a Max Lucado book. It's a decent enough book but, like I said, not food. And I've met Mr. Lucado and wasn't all that impressed. God, however, impresses me every day. =)

Anyway so the lack of Bible and desire to study the Bible as a group has really been bothering me. I've tried to fill the void with personal study but that's only been partially working. I have all these thoughts in my head and love the opportunity to get them out and see what others have to say in response. That's why I enjoyed our small group at the retreat so much last weekend. I can't even begin to describe the feeling I have after deep, meaningful discussions like that about something I never have to question the validity of.

Other than that, there have been quite a few other things that have been bothering me. These focus less on CABB and more on Christians and the church as a whole, however. The truth is, I'm terrified for the future of the church of Christ. I hear of greying lines all over the place:

A church once dear to my heart in the OKC area converts its service to instrumental.
A certain church of Christ sponsored sister school allows women to pray in chapel.
I've had 2 experiences in the past month of communion being somewhat less "communial" and more of an uncomfortable show. A Catholic-like process.

Holy cow, I probably just ticked a whole lot of my readers off. But you'll be ok. Let me remind you that I am simply expressing my opinion here. These things may just be pure "preference" and not "Salvation issues" but they are my "preferences." And this is my blog. =)

Instrumental music only really bothers me because I am a singer. And I believe everyone is. I don't think of it in terms of right and wrong. To me it's excess that we just don't need. We have plenty. No matter how tone deaf they may be, I've never heard anyone wo didn't sound absolutely amazing singing with all their heart: "Amazing Grace. How sweet the sound. That saved a wretch like me." It's about what you're singing, not how. Simply praise God.

My view of women's roles is the same: It's excess. While I do feel there is enough instruction to keep my thinking I need to keep my mouth shut, right or wrong really is not the issue. It's simply not needed. I know plenty of women in the church just as if not more active than the men. You just don't know it. Somewhere along the lines we women simply got unsatisfied with our determined roles and decided we wanted to do more. But c'mon girls! Sure we can lead singing, pray and serve communion just as well as any man. But how many men do you know can put a potluck together? Or visit widows or teach little children week after week or create bulletin boards or put together wedding and baby showers? We have plenty to do!! Why do we need to take the few things they can do from them? (No offense guys.) But seriously, we have enough. And if you feel like you don't, come see me. My mother, Helen Denton and I are overloaded.

And as far as communion goes, other than the Passover, there isn't much specific instruction. But I just can't get this verse out of my head: "A man ought to examine himself before he eats of the bread and drinks of the cup." (2 Cor. 11:28) I have a hard time doing that if I'm walking down the isle in front of the entire church.

So what's the solution? Well that's what I need you for. The 2 of you that made it through this whole post. =) Do I give up and accept things the way they are? Try another church? Try a whole other religion? Keep working at it until I'm blue in the face?

What do you think?

For now, I'm praying hardcore. And crying a lot. But I'm questioning, reading and am convinced that answers are coming. I just hope they come before that poop gets so deep I can't wade through. (That was disgusting...)

Have a blessed day my babies. And hang in there. One way or another, Jesus is coming soon.

Mandy

Update

In 20 words or less:

KU: National Champions
Chris: Gone
Job: Secure (for now...)
New Love: Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
Heather Wedding: 96 days
Miss: ???

The expanded edition:


Well KU won the National Championship!!! Woot woot!! That was the coolest game of Basketball I've ever seen!If you missed it...well...you missed it! Rock Chalk!!


Chris left on Friday to return to Iraq. Before you ask, no we did not have "the conversation." Life is pretty much up in the air right now. For now, I can blame it on the simple fact we CAN'T talk about it (in that he's not settled over there yet enough to call) but I'm not so sure we'd actually talk about it if he was. He's called twice since he left just to inform me that he made it to GA and then Kuwait but said it would be a few days before I heard from him again. Normal? Yes. Annoying? You bet. I did write him quite the letter though (which we all know I'm pretty good at) laying my side out on the table. So now we wait. What do I want? Heck if I know...


I had a very important career-making/breaking day last week that went, by my standards, very well. There were a few bumps but nothing major and that's to be expected on someone's first crack at the companies biggest meeting. I'm proud of myself. Now I just have to wait for my 6-month review (June 17) to see if the bosses were equally impressed...


I've recently fallen in love with The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. It's an addiction I'm not in a hurry to overcome. Album: Don't You Fake It. Get. Listen. Love.


One of my bestest friends in the whole world and my favorite roomie of all time is getting married in only 96 days!! I'm really happy for her and can't wait! To be honest though, I'm mostly happy about the excuse to go back to Lubbock. It's been well over a year since I've been there and I'm missing lots of folks terribly. I'm pumped! Take off work now, LL. You're not leaving my side the whole time!


Besides the usuals (LL, Mandy, Heather, Jeremy, Cara & the boys...) I'm missing a whole lot of random people at this very moment and I'm not completely sure why. Current Mood: Emo. Beware.


And Shoutouts:


Twig:
Hey buddy! How are my kids? Have you been contacted about doing anything for camp yet? I might hire you to help me more than you want too. Let me know if you're willing and I'll check with Smokster for the Ok.


Cara:
I miss you guys so much! Please keep updating with pics. They make me so happy. =) Give the boys lots of love from Aunt Mandy.


Raul:
Yo kid. Glad to hear the musical went well. Sorry I missed it. I'll be down for Heathers wedding but it's not looking like I'll get there before then. Just be around and watch out! =) Have a great week buddy!


Coming Soon:


Ready for Camp

Softball League
Mandy vs the cofC (specifically OP)
Moving...

Blessings and hugs my babies!

-Mandy-

"Pain is inevitable but misery is optional." -Tim Hansel

Rock Chalk!!!

First thing's first:
GO KU!!!


Ok, that's better.

Retreat

Well...I'm exhausted. CABB Retreat was...productive. Yeah, that sounds upbeat. But seriously, we got the cabins almost completely finished!!! And, thanks to yours truly, the showers are ready to use! When we get running water of course. It was also really good to see Bill Carriger and one of my adopted Dad's (who says hi KJ!!) =)

Unfortunately, the spiritual part of the retreat left a lot to be desired. At least in my opinion. Booo. To be honest, I felt like I was at some other religions' retreat all weekend. I could be wrong but I'm about 90% sure the speaker wasn't even a member of the church of Christ. Not really my idea of a good thing. I wasn't impressed by his view of what the church should be nor his seemingly arrogant view of himself. It's not that he was wrong per se, but the church of Christ is defined world-wide by some very specific viewpoints (that I just happen to agree with, go figure), and he spit on some of them. I kept thinking about all the new people present that were getting a completely wrong idea of the church of Christ. Yuck.

I know that sounds terribly judgemental of me but the blog is built for me to vent, right? So that's what I'm doing. I do feel bad that my opinion of him is based only on what he spoke about but he didn't really give us a chance to get to know him otherwise. He got really clicky with 3 of the guys and didn't really spend much time getting to know the rest of us. It was sad.

But, at the same time, I'm partially glad this happened. I've been pushing back feelings of discontent with OP for awhile and I feel like this weekend has forced them to the front of my mind. Because I am a pretty conservative Christian (especially compared to others my age), there have always been small things about OP that have made me a little uncomfortable. Again, none of these things are "wrong" but they are all things that I feel push the limit a bit. But, because I have truly found a family there in the CABB group and other members (my idea of the whole point of church), have fallen in love with the youth group and feel like OP is a place that I can serve the way I should, I've pushed those slight discomforts aside. But now, thanks to this weekend, I'm going to have to do some reevaluating. Please pray for me in this situation and, if you've got some advice, hit me up with it!

Anyway...

Ok, enough of that. It depresses me. On to more juicy info ('cause I know that's what you want anyway).

Well Chris didn't go with me to the Retreat so I don't have a whole lot of new info to give you in that area. Except that I'm really happy by how much he missed me. We've pretty much spent 24/7 together since he got here and, apparently, that day and half away reminded him of how bad it sucks when I'm not around. Ha! Needless to say, he was reluctant to let me go to bed last night and is making me go with him to Larry for the game tonight. That's a big deal! He wants me to meet all his friends. =) Confession: I sure like him.

Unfortunately, he leaves on Friday. ='( Booo....

Something Extra

Ok, I believe I made a promise in my last post that I will keep now:

Twig
- Hey buddy! I'm sorry you couldn't come to the Retreat but, hopefully, my post about it will make you feel a little better. I kinda wish you had been there so I could get your opinion but that's alright. Anyway, I hope you had a great weekend with your kids and I hope you have a fantastic week!!

Cara
- Hey Sis!! Gosh I miss you! I've decided that you guys need to all move to KC. You'd have a free babysitter!! =) I love you!!

KJ
- Yo! Dude, it was good to see your Dad this weekend. He's still as funny as ever. I wish you could've come. I could've used your opinion on the situation too. Plus, I didn't have anyone to make my s'mores for me! =) Hope you're well buddy! Miss ya!!

Well, that covers everyone. 3 comments. I'm pathetic. =) Wanna play again? Ok. Post = Shoutout. Go!

I love you all!!
-Mandy-

"May the Lord continually bless you with heaven's blessings as well as with human joys."
- Psalms 128:5

Posty McPosterson

Alright already! Get off my back!! (That's my sad attempt at assuming you have all been checking daily for an update on my ever-increasingly crazy life.) Ahem...


New Boy

(Oh don't act all surprised. You had to know this was going to happen soon.)

The Dirt:
His name is Chris. Chris and I met via, ahem, Facebook. (Don't judge me! It's actually more interesting than that.) Go back and read the Feb. 27th post about the project I tried to start for the guys fighting overseas from church and you'll see the first mention of his name. What's that? You didn't read that post? Oh, well, how rude.

So Chris is in the Army and currently on his 2nd tour in Iraq. He signed up for only 1 tour a few years ago but go see the move "Stop-Loss" and you'll get an idea of the annoyance. But, just so you know, he didn't act like the weenie Ryan Phillippe portrays when he found out he was going back. Oops, did I say that out loud?

Anyway so Chris and I emailed back and forth for a few weeks. This is the part where normal people say, "We found out we had a lot in common." But have you ever known me to be normal? I didn't think so. Yeah, Chris and I have very little in common actually. In fact, I'm pretty sure I could list our commonalities on one hand:

--Church of Christ background (yippee!) - Though the Army tries very hard to rip the Jesus out of the most emphatic Christians, he still holds the values he learned. Especially regarding the roles of men and women in relationships. Bravo. His parents actually attend church at OP. I met them before him. They're great people.
--Sarcastic and occasionally mean sense of humor - We loooove backhanded compliments (i.e.: "You're a lot more fun when you're drunk." "Yes you do look fat in that. But I like it." And my personal favorite: "You're a tweener. Not hot but not ugly, somewhere in between.").
--A love for shopping, especially shoes (again, don't judge), motorcycles and Corvettes (really I just like anything fast and hot without a Ford symbol on it). This can all but summed up in one word: Materialistic. Shush. We pay our bills first. (Which is a lot easier when you make a good chuck of change and never spend it. What's he supposed to by in Iraq?!) =)

And the best and worst:
--An extremely passionate nature - It’s good because he understands why I get so crazy about things like the youth group, work and stupid little things. He loves it when I cry in a movie or freak out about stuff. And when we’re doing something fun, it’s always a total blast because we both get way into it. But, it’s bad because, when we fight, it’s World War III. And, because we don’t have a whole lot in common, those fights have come a few times in the short time he’s been here. So, when it’s bad, it’s really bad. But, when it’s good…well you get the point. And so far, those amazingly good times have far outweighed the bad times.


Vacation From My Vacation

So at this point, I imagine you’re thinking, “Now Mandy. How could you possibly allow yourself to get involved with a soldier fighting in Iraq?! Are you crazy?! You haven’t even met him!!” Dudes, give me some credit. As Chris would say, “This isn’t my first time at a rodeo, Cowboy.” Let’s rewind Mandy’s life and remember that she’s already met 3, count ‘em 3, guys from online dating sites. She also has an extremely close cousin who’s been in the Army for quite some time now. And, if all that fails, remember this: I’M NOT STUPID!!! Shocking, I know. But seriously, I’m not.

Chris started his 18-day R&R at home on the 24th. Because his family was gone, we met face to face for the first time at Kansas City International Airport (also not my first rodeo…) at 3:00am. He was even more handsome and tall than his pictures. (He’s 6’4” – yee-haw!!) =) After taking care of the R&R part (about 4 hours of sleep), we were off!

One of Chris’ brothers got married last Tuesday in OKC. At his request and because I missed the ski trip from the week before, I took the week off to accompany him to the wedding and then a honeymoon crashing in Branson. Woo-wee did we have ourselves a good 'ole time! (Ok, seriously, enough with the hick-ness already!) Branson was a lot of fun but, by the time we returned, I was so exhausted! I really needed a vacation from my vacation but, alas, the work will not do itself! (Meaning that, by this time, I’m pretty sure my bosses have no idea how to answer their own phones).

But, the good news is, there’s no end in sight! =) This weekend is the ever-anticipated CABB Retreat! Woot woot!! Dude, if you’re not going to be there, you are SO gonna miss out. Besides the chance to see Mandy in a hat (that’s what happens when she can’t wash her greasy head for 2 days), there’s gonna be some majorly good singin, learnin, workin, sharin, and carin! I’m so pumped! I missed the Fall Retreat due to powers beyond my control so I’m not letting anything get in the way of this one! I can’t wait to tell you all about it!


You Had Me At Goodbye

Welp friends, I think that about covers the main part. Once I get this Retreat out of the way and that boy back on a plane next week, we’ll talk more about the upcoming joyousness of moving and getting ready for camp. Until then, remember these pearls:

“The bust of Colonel Sanders stands as a monument to cruelty and has no place in the Kentucky state Capitol.” --Pamela Anderson


Love you all! Happy Hunting!!

-Mandy-

PS – Comment = Personalized shout out from yours truly!