Well my boss has been gone on Vacay for the past week so I've had some free time on my hands. To fill this time, I took to reading all my past Facebook messages and my old Blog entries on Xanga. All of them. I know, I need a life.
Anyway, I just wanted to say that it was a very eye-opening experience and, if you have anything like that (old blog, old letters, old diary, old messages), I recommend taking the time to go through them. It is amazing how much your life can change in just a few short years. Things I never would've imagined happening to me have and things I could've sworn would happen, haven't. Situations that I used to stress over now seem to be so stupid.
But the thing that struck me the most was the relationships I've had over the years. People I would've sworn would be a part of my life forever have fallen (or been pushed) away. Most of them were not intentional by any means. It's perfectly natural to lose touch with someone when you haven't seen them in a few years. You grow in different ways and don't have the same things in common anymore. A few months ago, I got to spend some time with some of the girls I used to hang out with in high school. It was a blast to talk about "back then" but it was also pretty apparent that we had all gone in different directions since, and now had our own, different lives. We had a good time reliving some of the fun and not-so-fun moments we had in high school but, other than the occasional "Happy Birthday" Facebook comment, I haven't spoken to any of them since. But that's not a bad thing. Like I said, we've moved on.
However, some of the relationships in our lives fall away because of carelessness. While reading my old Xanga and all those messages, I realized I had more of those than I originally thought. And it's kinda put me in a little funk. I did quite a bit of smiling and LOLing at some of the comments and messages I received from people that used to be my closest friends but, now that I'm done, I'm sort of left with this weird void. Unfortunately, I don't speak to those people anymore. And unfortunately, it's not because they've just "fallen away." Some of them I pushed away for good reason but some for what I only thought was good reason. Either way, I really miss those friends. And, if any of you happen to read this, I'm sorry if I hurt you.
Even though I know this post seems a little emo, please believe me when I say that I am not bitter. Or sad. I definitely miss those friends, but I also had a surge of joy, especially reading all those old blog posts and seeing how far I've come in the past 5 or so years. I have the best husband anyone could wish for, a pretty good life and a great future ahead of me. I really am very blessed.
I will tell you one thing though: If I'm ever again asked the question, "Where do you see yourself in 5 (or 10) years?" I'm not going to answer. :)
Blessings,
Mandy
7 years ago
2 comments:
Even though we don't talk a lot... I still like you :) It was fun to catch up.
Mandy,
Though we don't talk often, or email back and forth like we did a couple of years ago, I still think the world of you and am grateful we've kept touch through the years. Yes, we've grown up and gone on the path we're meant for, but in diversity there is beauty as well. I love seeing where everyone's lives have led them, it's like branching of a big oak tree. (I know, cheesy!)
You're incredible, and I am filled with joy with knowing you are blessed. And I know you are happy for me with my blessings. We don't have to talk every day to know that in our hearts.
P.S. I LOVE YOU! *hugs*
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