Take A Bow

Brace yourselves folks. Mandy's about to blog about her most embarrassing moment...

Here's a story for you: When I was in high school, my dad, my best friend at the time and I went on a road trip to check out future college prospects. Little did I know that what started out as a fun-filled weekend would turn into a story that would haunt me for ages.

Oklahoma Christian University was having their "High School Preview Weekend" and the campus was overrun by High School students from all over the USA (i.e.; all of Oklahoma, some of Texas and 3 of us from Kansas). I was doubly excited because I knew I'd be seeing some good camp friends, including the love of my life at that time (though he knew nothing of my passion).

The weekend was a blast. I met up with the camp friends, spent some time talking to my not-so-secret crush and met the choir director (of course). Life was good. By this time, I was completely convinced that I'd be attending OCU after graduation. I had not a doubt in my mind that this was the campus for me. Until Saturday dinner in the OCU cafeteria.

My best friend and I had just finished dinner and were heading back to the buffet-style setup in search of dessert. I grabbed a delicious looking brownie and placed it on my small dessert-sized plate. I turned around and became instantly intrigued by a shiny machine on the counter behind me. I thought I was dreaming at first as the words "ICE CREAM" seemed to glow from the silver. Free ice cream?! This is the BEST SCHOOL EVER! What a perfect addition to my small chocolate brownie. Or so I thought...

I approached the ice cream machine, seeming to glide across the cafeteria, completely oblivious to the some 200 people milling around me selecting sandwiches, pizza, cereal, and their own small brownies. I was heading straight towards heaven.

As I reached up to grab the handle of the ice cream machine, my other hand instinctively placed the small plate with the brownie underneath the spout from which I knew the glorious heaven-food would soon be dispensed. Then I pulled the handle towards me.

At first, nothing happened. I was somewhat disappointed and had a brief thought that, perhaps my dream wasn't going to come true. But then I heard the machine begin to growl, as if waking up from a very deep slumber. It growled for about 3 seconds as I waited patiently for a stream of delicious looking vanilla ice cream to flow. And then...

POW!!!!

With a sound equal to that of a shotgun, the machine suddenly sprang to life and spit about a gallon of milk right out of the spout blowing the plate and brownie right out of my hand and completely covering me in milk. I turned around, dripping in sticky, sugary milk and became suddenly aware that the entire place heard the awful gunshot and had stopped their milling around to stare at the vanilla-soaked high schooler in the middle of the cafeteria. The ice cream machine was from the opposite of heaven.

"You trusted me! You fool!"

Now, at this point in my story, you're probably chuckling a little, maybe even lol-ing, if I told it well. And, if I stopped right there, you'd probably go on with your life thinking, "Man, that sucks," maybe make some ice cream related joke in the comments section ("Knock knock - Who's there? - Ice Cream - Ice Cream Who? - Ice Cream of Jeannie!"), and go to Baskin Robbins to fulfill the craving I just gave you. And I could let you do that. And I should let you do that. But instead, I'm going to tell you the worst part of this story:

As if the ice cream machine blowing up on me wasn't enough, there's more. When I tell this story of my most embarrassing moment, people usually chuckle but then fully intend to let it go. I don't usually get made fun of for such a moment because what happened wasn't my fault and really couldn't have been avoided. And if I would just shut up and not share what I did next, I'd probably go down in history as the person with the cutest most embarrassing moment ever and a legitimate reason for a fear of vanilla. But I never do. I just can't leave it at that. I always tell what I did next:

When I turned around to see all those people staring at me, unaware that the machine's handle was still down and ice cream was flowing freely onto the floor behind me, I could think of nothing else to do...but take a bow.

Stand up, you idiot!

Why did I do it? I have no idea. I suppose it was my way of milking the opportunity of 200 people staring at me. I figured they got a good show, I should accept my applause.

There was no applause. Just laughing. Sometimes at night I can still hear the laughing...

"Maybe we could teach you a thing or two."

As I'm sure you can imagine, since this incident, there have been many an occasion where I've done something remotely embarrassing only to be followed by a bow from one or both of my loving little brothers or one of my so-called "friends" that I've chosen to share this story with. It's the bow that haunts me.

If only I had let the story stop at the dripping in vanilla part! Why God why?! Why must I face this humiliation?!

So now I suppose you're thinking, "Well Mandy, if you are so embarrassed by this incident, why do you tell it so publicly on your blog?" Because, my friends, I have found a solution!

Do you have any idea how many famous people bow?! My personal favorite: Conan O'Brien.

And not just for the awesome Mario World-like backdrop.

Haven't you people ever seen Conan give his monologue?! That man puts his hands together and bows after almost every joke! And you love him for it! You LOVE HIM FOR IT!!!

Or what about these divas:

See the titles of those albums?! "TAKE A BOW!!!" To Rihanna and Madonna (whoa, that rhymed), it's not an option, it's a command!! I was simply following direction.

I will never again apologize!

Chocolate Rules,
Mandy

PS - I went to Lubbock Christian instead. NOT because of this incident. *Ahem.*